3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I didn't shave. On purpose
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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