Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
