I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
