He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
