btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
