That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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