I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
