we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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