angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
