i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
