Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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