i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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