Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
