Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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