Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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