apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
