i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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