Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
