the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
