so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
