You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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