I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
