I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
