I bet he comes in French.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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