If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize