at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
