Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Pooping to opera.
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