i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
