...so i touched it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
