Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
