you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
