i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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