Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
