I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
When did angry sex become our thing?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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