Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
