I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
