FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
