your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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