Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
