Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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