I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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