ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
