You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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