remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
