i think my mom watched the whole time
Just cropdusted the office
im six kinds of drunk right now
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
