can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
