i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
