I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
