I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
