i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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