I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
